Paradox

I had a fantabulous weekend. Fish fry at home Friday night. Walking quite a ways to the farmer's market with my children. Rolling down the hill at the park in our red flyer wagon. Eating fresh blueberries. Swimming in 100 degree weather, and hanging out at hte drive in theatre. I played Stratego with my son, had my daughter fall asleep in my arms, and cuddled and played with my youngest. What a great weekend.

I even went shopping for work clothes something I haven't done with a friend in many years. We were all business, but it was nice to have company and advice. I found great deals and feel confident with my selections.

My husband and I had a long talk about seperation...I don't know what is going to happen, but we are hurting and know that presently this isn't what each of us wants. Joel doesn't feel repsected or confident around me, and I am lonely for a friend that will spend time with me and speak their mind. We will see. I have many good friends but I would like to be married to my very best friend. I could be with a man or a woman, I could be alone, but I cannot be married and lonely.